Sunday, August 8, 2010


Dear mother, I love you with all my heart. But my heart is becoming smaller and smaller each time i talk to you. I discussed you with dad the other night, It was nice to hear him say something nice about you. That when he first met you, you where almost perfect, You had a large amount of brilliance to you and a small amount of crazy. He said that now it has been reversed. I will admit I'm jealous he got to see you in your most brilliant stage and that never in my life have i seen you like that. I want to see you on my 18Th birthday, the 16Th just so you remember i know you always forget!
Dad also said it was unlikely that you will make it to my 21st.


Yeah so today was dificult, These days i'm feeling pretty alone. Like disconeccted to my friends, Maybe it's all in my head. But i feel I really can't connect to anyone, to the point of being able to tell them evrything. This causes problems for me in all honesty, Because i'm dealing with way to many things at the moment and it's causing me to get really angry/frustrated easily.

I hope to find some form of trust in somone soon.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Yeah so, I haven't written lately! And i want to write to assure anyone that i have had a great few days!

Last Friday night I slept in a cave with the lovely Thomas.B, Joel.B, Reuben.C and Aiden. A

It was a great night! I love male company so much! And the whole setting was beautiful, many a marsh mellow and good time was had, i hope to have this again sometime!

I'm content at the moment and pretty relaxed about everything, This is good but other people around me seem rather stressed, I hope they can pick up on my calm vibes and settle the fuck down....

Many questions have popped up around me lately, Questions of sexuality, If i like someone back, One emotion out weighing the other, How will manage without money?... And who am i? Yes! I'm in the middle of an Identity Crisis! but it's cool coz i can deal well, But really, sometimes i over think things in the shower and realise that I'm really no one, Like what do i possibly offer other people? Like i want to be everything anyone asks for, But no one ever asks me of anything, so how am i to comply. I often look to my friend Brittani. O and wonder how she manages everything perfectly, She is a brilliant people person, she offers what others want and i wish i was more like her!!! It's her birthday today and i had to borrow money off her, I feel like a REALLY shitty friend and I'm destined to make it up to her! I'll find something! i think I'll buy her lunch or dinner on my birthday! I really do love her!

Any way one of my fish died, Sidley... I cried.. It was so sad! But I'm coming to accept his death these days, I'll by another one like him.. but I'm sure he won't be the same!

Everything has been fine, accept the weather!!! Oh my i REALLY hate Lithgow weather... I want to hurt it.. it's so frustratingly cold!! and windy all on the same day!!! I never want to live here permanently in my entire life! It's too cold!

Any way that catches up for the last couple of days!